My WTF note on Facebook status

I am so addicted to Facebook that even before I open my eyes; I reach for my phone and instinctively check news feeds on my account, during the day I check my Facebook account like 40-50 times.  At night I switch off my laptop to snuggle in to my cozy bed only to check FB again on my phone. FB has been one constant in my life since it was introduced in 2006. I finished college, got a job, got  married but I LOVE FACEBOOK  like I did years before. FB is so much more than just a social networking platform, so many people converge together and orchestrate a symphony of life experiences, thoughts, ideas and information that it is dazzling and captivating. But some people, abuse this privilege. These buggers will post any thing as their status and expect not only from us to read them but also like them. I mean WTF!!

STATUS I SIMPLY CAN’T STAND ANYMORE

  • Good morning everyone/Good night to all my Facebook friends- Seriously!! Its retarded…  Its not like  the sun will refuse to rise if you don’t wish people. Stop doing it, you are spamming my account. I like the courtesy but, please don’t overkill.
  • Song Lyrics- Helllooo …. I listen to radio, watch television, browse internet, I  have a access to YouTube, grooveshark etc. If you have heard it; so have I. Please stop wasting bytes of information. And as advice, if you are using a song to voice your emotions or unspoken feelings…please do yourself a favor and take it somewhere private. Its pathetic!!
  • I hate Mondays/ TGIF- Its a universal truth…people hate Monday  mornings and love Friday evenings.  How does your status make any difference to anyone. But, yeah if you post, “Its a Hump day” in middle of the week, then its a different story 😉
  • Movie review bundled with your own insights- I appreciate the effort that you took in composing a worthy movie review and garnishing it with your comments but seriously, good movie, bad movie is enough. I don’t need to know who acted well, who needs to learn how to act, who is hot and who dressed like roadside kill.  Too much information for my little brain to process. I get bored. Please spare me the torture.
  •  I hate Facebook– Then why are you here in the first place?
  • I love to bitch, whine and complain- Can you please get a life for God’s sake ! If you have a problem with someone or something, go figure out a solution and stop Facebook-ing it. I have a life and I refuse to carry your shit.
  • Come look at me, read my status, I am a superstar, I am doing you a favor by writing a comment- Someone really needs to tell you, that world does not revolve around you. You are just an insecure attention seeker. And world can’t stand you!!
  • Like this cause-Will my liking your status reverse Global warming?
  • Character /\rT- Did you just discover the Shift  key on your keyboard today? If you consider yourself to be an artist – paint or do some photography, dance…do some real art work please spare status texts from your artistry.
  • Thank you everyone, had such a great time-(Tag)- Thank all your buddies personally. They will appreciate it more. Personally I think you are an attention seeker who never got any real attention. It makes me so sad.  How does it matter to my well being that you had a great time with so-n-so, who I never have had an opportunity to meet . Just post your pics and be done with it.
  • Long status messages  about everything from your tour, adventure trip, new article you read online…..GAAWD!!- Just shoot me in the head before you think about posting long status messages again.I have wasted my precious little time on Earth scrolling down to read your message besides  it also kills the little grey matter I am left with. If I look like I have a low IQ, its your fault. If you want to post some article or news explain it in two lines – if I am interested I will read, I promise.
  • Jokes I have heard a million times- Bummer!!
  • Motivational quotes by you- I don’t need to get inspired so please don’t feel obligated to enlighten the world with your new found wisdom.

Brad Pitt’s Chanel No 5 Advertising: Pure genius or Ludicrous?

Chanel has always created esoteric and dream like advertisement having an element of mystery in them. Brad Pitt’s new advert- ” There you are” for Chanel fails to capture that magic. It leaves audience cold feet and confused. The advertisement fails to capture the enigma and class which Chanel represents.

What went wrong? It was pure genius to use the world’s most sexiest man to endorse a feminine fragrance but sadly,the attempt was a miss. Brad Pitt has not been able to deliver the brand message effectively, he looks confused and seems like having a hard time keep a straight face. It not clear what he wants to say, the lines do not make any sense! Being esoteric is one thing but not making any sense is another story. I blame the Chanel team for being dispassionate about their brand and not fully understanding the Chanel brand image and message. They ruined what could have been a beautiful and iconic advertisement.

Repercussions : Chanel reputation will not take a hit with this poor show in fact ,they have yet again managed to make waves in media. Brad Pitt comfortably managed to walk away with 7 million dollars but, with his career hanging by the thread it will be difficult to assess the damage to his reputation. Media is having a field day at Brad’s expense.

Verdict: A brave move which sadly misfired.

Using business card as a branding tool

“Let’s face it, most of the business cards end up in trash because they are unable to create the right first impression”

Exchanging business cards is considered a part of business etiquette worldwide. It establishes legitimacy of your company and serves as a testimonial for current address and contact. Business cards have long been used as a tool for networking however, they are often neglected.  A good business card is in many ways similar to a mini resume circulated for self-promotion. It has been noted that Business cards can create similar impact on mind in 5 seconds as a 15 second television commercial would do. This tool is simple yet an effective way to help your business in cutting though the clutter and aid in high recall. A memorable 2″ x 3.5″ business card is able to send a strong clear message about your company, enhance company image and arouses the interest of people who see it.

Here are some pointers to create ‘first right branding impression’ using business cards

  1. Avoid printing cards on low quality paper: Business cards can help you create a unique identity for your business so DO NOT COMPROMISE ON QUALITY; no one would like to hold a business card made up of poor quality paper. Business cards are important collaterals in any business; they introduce your business to prospective clients hence should be able to make a first positive impression.
  2. Avoid printing your cards on pre-designed templates: Another common mistakes businesses make, is selecting an already available template for designing business cards. Select a designer if you can not design your business card  but ensure that your card is able to communicate about your business and should be distinct from rest.
  3. Follow the clichéd KISS ( keep it simple stupid) rule
    1. Color scheme: Avoid too much color; it distracts readers from actual information and adds to confusion. Instead use a bright mono-color background with picture. If you do decide to use a color scheme, select a color scheme which does not distract from the information on cards, it should add to its recall factor.
    2. Information on cards: Be brief and concise about the information on the card. It should have company’s name, logo, company website address, email address for correspondence and a contact phone number, if you have space left give office address. Be deliberate about the information to be printed on cards.
    3. Unique shapes: You can experiment with shapes of the cards. Selecting unique shapes is a definite way of increasing recall rate of your business but you might have to compromise a bit. The card holders are designed for 2″ x 3.5″ dimensions, any other sized card will not fit.
    4. Readable font:  Font style, size and color should be readable on 2″ x 3.5″ card.
  4. Should reflect company’s image: Don’t select designs which are popular. Select designs which speak about your business and company image.  They should be able to communicate at a glance if the business is in creative design, or finance.
  5. Use images on Business card: Most people will agree that using images on business cards increases recall and are less likely to be thrown out.  Image can be of a person or a product. Idea here is to give cards more human like personality.
  6. Back side of the card: Common practice nowadays is to leave the back of cards empty.  I personally think it would be a great idea to utilize the empty space on the back to personalize the card using a picture with company tagline or simply a logo of the company

Always keep in mind- Business cards are not advertisements, they are branding tools for your business to create distinct identity in the mind of your customers.

Choose and design well!!

SERIOUSLY, I really dislike you!!

CEO, Mark Zuckerberg today announced that Facebook  will be introducing a ” dislike button’ or something like that.

I have to admit I LOVED the idea and always wished I had this option.There so many things people post on the wall and all I want to do is drink my cup of coffee and go though all the posts-  ‘dislike, dislike, f&$k you!, dislike, not you, dislike, assh****, dislike”

It is insane how may crazies I have befriended over the course of time and I keep thinking dislike button would be great for some housecleaning.

I am so thrilled with this news that I was secretly wishing that FB team introduces a middle finger instead of thumbs down. Who needs a thumbs down when you do wonders with a finger (I meant pick your nose. Gross!! )

Imagine yourself on the beach with margarita in you hand and you want to share this beautiful moment with rest of the world  and your friend stuck in office does not have to type in  works” F&$K  YOU!”  to describe how much he misses you  but press a button to express his love for you!  Awesome!! I love the simplicity.

On the other hand,

It is crazy that in your fingertips  would lie the  power to destroy a real person who wants to share with the world his moments of happiness, achievements, pain, or opinions with one single click. You post  portions of your life or projection of life you want people to believe you have on social media  to receive some kind of positive acknowledgment, a sense of community that extends beyond geographical borders. Was not leaving negative comments on the posts enough that we have this need to publicly humiliate someone? Imagine what would be the power of  99 dislike  vs 1 like.

Simplicity of  expressing what you like and do not like with change the dynamics of Facebook weather it is interpersonal or companies using social media. time will tell how we use it or abuse.

this reminds of a quote by a great man

” With great power comes great responsibility”

Will you fraandship me??

Most of us would agree that Facebook is a very entertaining space.

It is a great networking tool. You can find long lost friends and make new ones.  You follow people or pages you like. Leave your status update on the wall hoping that someone would like your status and leave comments on it. It makes us feel important and popular.

I have been able to identify so many kinds of  FB users ranging from narcissist to eternal pessimists and few self proclaimed ‘know it all types’ only because I follow their timeline.

Today, I was able to identify a new breed – ‘ FB peafowl’

If you have no idea what it means…….. I am talking about a male peacock!

Facebook-Peafowl  is species who use who Facebook as hunting ground to search for a mate. They display a full range of masculinity and other traits in pathetic effort to appear appealing to opposite sex.

Let us divide them into two categories-

  1. Alpha- peafowls: They already have a huge female following mainly because of amazing abs profile display and several photos on the user profile  depicts the user  engaging in myriad acts of  human stupidity ranging on scale of 10 somewhere  between 7 -10.
  2. Peafowls- prowlers- They send private messages on Facebook in a bid to win affection of the opposite sex. The male sends out a simple IM saying “Hello” or “Hi” with hopes that the request will be quickly entertained and female will be lured into a conversation.

Simple innocent hellos

Just a simple hello

Let’s get straight to point types

Let's get straight to pint babe

Flatter to score types

flattery will get you a fair maiden

Disguised desperation

Picture1

Sassy pants

Sassy.. ewww

I have a job so you ‘should’ add me

do you need a better reason to add me!?

I have a list explaining ‘Why you should add me”

voice of reason

Please pass on my message to friend of your friend.

Picture3

I wonder if this ever worked for these guys…..

Proved yet again, human stupidity knows no bounds…… it just leaps!!

What possibly in the name of God, prompted you to jump on whale carcass in middle of shark feeding frenzy and pose with it!!??

What did your friends say,”You got no proof that you did it man, you gotcha get yourself a selfie!! YOLO” and pushed you off the boat.

This shit just got real in Australia

You can see the sharks merrily frolicking in the water, enjoying a wholesome meal!! WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED YOU TO JUMP IN A SHARK INFESTED WATERS AND SURF ON A DEAD WHALE ? I am sorry but I really can not understand the logic.  Would you like if someone jumped on your steak, posed for a selfie, say ” I was here” and took -off!!  I would bite their head-off.

Thank God that a terrible accident was averted.

I can not stop thinking how traumatic it must be for the Sharks. A scrawny human crashing their party, taking pictures of them eating (no one ever looks good in pictures eating). They are probably scarred for life.

Later that day Shark weekly reported that Marty the shark was so shell shocked by the human’s aberrant and puzzling behavior that  it has inspired  him to write a sequel to famous American movie – Jaws. Meanwhile the Humans are re-running shark week all this week on major television networks.

Source- Marshable http://mashable.com/2014/11/02/aussie-surfed-whale-carcass/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link

WHY NOT PLAY DRESS-UP IN INDIA ??

Dear Educated Indian who does not understand “why INDIANS celebrated Halloween” ,

I generally do not react to morons on Facebook, but on this particular instance I want to congratulate you on evoking a feeling in  my heart  to  hi-five your stupid face  and also break my one long year hiatus of writers block.

Seriously, you thought it was cool to post  on your wall for the world to see that  India does not need more festivals to celebrate??

Do you realize dear sir, that the country we call call our motherland is the largest working secular democracy in the world.  Let me expand that for you – According to the Constitution of India- we respect pluralism. We as a nation respect each other and co-exist in harmony. That’s what we are known for-  multi-cultural heritage. We accept people from different backgrounds, religions, caste, color and creed.   Name any other country which can boast about coexistence of   people practicing different religions and beliefs  for centuries?  We accept people no matter what!! This is what being an Indian is about. You participate and celebrate other beliefs without being judgmental about them, we do not condone them.

I work in USA and that does not make me any less of an Indian than you are.  Lot of you forget that every action we take here reflect upon the country  we hail from, we create the stereotypes. I represent my country in this foreign land and I do uphold the values I have grown-up with.

President of America went on air to wish all the Indians a “Happy Diwali” , my “non-indian” colleagues adorned Indian Attire and celebrated Diwali with us “Desi people”  and we Indians are being judged if dressed up for Halloween.

Who gave you this right to look down upon us?? It is a festival, everyone should participate. If you do not want to be a part of it , shut-the-fuck up. No one asked for your  stupid opinions. People like you make Indians all over the world look incredibly stupid. Please next time you have a thought like this and you want to share with the world, cut that into half and do not speak. You are an embarrassment!

Halloween is a celebration, people are using to play dress up so what is the big deal? Indians use Diwali as an excuse to gamble and drink? Why do you not speak against that?

Your sincerely,

Most human phone in not so human

WTF!! was the first thing which slipped out of mouth after watching the advert. I don’t even want to know what LG was thinking…… they should seriously fire the complete marketing department. I saw this advert last night and I could not GO TO SLEEP. The image of a hand with a mouth and a beard kept flashing before my eyes….ewww…its disgusting! The advert should come with a PG-13 warning.
And next thing I am thinking is ‘How do you charge the damn thing?’ Ahh..snap, are you serious!! This is a bad commercial! It is disturbing, like a bad sci-fi plot which is almost comical.
Only reason why LG will want to create such a advertisement is to distinguish itself from other phones. Well they succeeded. I am scared to put that thing next to my ear. I might just end up with a missing ear. The most human phone is most grotesque human. The most human phone should celebrate the human body, it’s strength,beauty and agility.

But I do want to congratulate LG team for one thing… they did leave an impression.

Note to myself- Why is he speaking into the mouth ?? EWWWW.

Color me green!

Ever thought of making money sitting at home?

earn-money-online

Who does not dream of make few extra bucks sitting at home? Expenses are rising and economy is well quite literary shaken up. Everyone wants to save some extra cash for a rainy day, or to pay bills or even get that Xbox for Christmas. Whatever is the reason we all need some extra money to fatten our wallet and to keep up with rising cost of living. Internet provides numerous solutions to people who want to use their skills and talent to earn money sitting in comfort of their home. Here is some information which can help you supplement your earnings.

1. Blogging: Blogging is the easiest way to make few bucks. It takes 5 minutes to make an account and you can begin writing immediately on topics you are passionate about. All you need to have is good communication skills, reasonable grammar and fresh ideas. There are several people who claim to make more money by blogging as compared to day job. World press and Blogger have been popular sites for bloggers for several years now. You can easily make money on sites like Blogger by placing Google Ad sense on them. You can also use infolink.com and kontera.com to place advertisements on your blogs and earn passive income. Squidoo, HubPages, Xomba, Seekyt, She Told Me are few of the best revenue sharing article site. You can also check out examiner.com, firehow.com, helium.com

2. Freelancer: If you love working independently and have the commitment to stick to schedule; you can get started as a freelancer with minimum experience. If you have an expertise you can offer to perspective employers and love to be your won boss, use your skills to earn money. Few sites where you can find a job are- elance, odesk, 99designs, Fivver, freelancer.com, 3desk.com

3. Sell your photos online: You can use your hobby to earn passive income. 500px, Flickr , Shutterstock, Fotollia, Shutterpoint, 123RF, Can stock Photo, Depost Photos are few sites which allow you to upload images and start selling your pictures immediately. You can earn royalties from 15% up to 85%. Shutterfly is another good site which allows you to host your own gallery but annual membership charges are quite substantial.

4. Sell your old stuff: Everyone has some old stuff lying around in the garage taking space. So go on ebay and sell stuff you don’t need anymore. Craigslist is another very hot option besides olx and qurik. So clean your clutter for cash.

5. Sell handmade goods: Sites like etsy.com and artfire.com are dedicated to bring together people who love to create art and people who would love to own the exclusive handicrafts. Other sites which I stumbled upon were- Handmade Catalogue, Craft Mall, Spsell. If you now more sites where people can sell handicraft, add one

6. Get paid to review music: I loved this category!! It’s so simple all you have to do is listen to music, rate songs and guess which can be the next chartbuster. If you are able to identify the next big thing you get a bonus. If you think you have ears for music check out slicethepie.com

7. Get paid to play: Another favorite! Check out moola.com if you want play online games and make money. The winner of the game can win up to $10,000,000. That’s a lot of money for gaming!! . Unfortunately it is open only to US and Canadian citizens.

8. Design and sell t-shirts: I love this idea….it is so easy, requires no investment and it helps you showcase your talent. Two sites which I would encourage amateur designers to try are cafepress.com and spreadshirt.com

9. Write product review: I find this quite easy to start. NY Times owned site consumersearch.com can pay around $350 per review if you are really good. If you your domain knowledge is in softwares, showcase your knowledge on site called softwarejudge.com which pays up to 50 dollars per good review. epinions is another highly recommended site. Other sites which can interest you are justanswer.com and aiip.org.

10. Get paid for your opinion (Online survey): This is boring and little time consuming but, you can make money while watching television. My top picks are- mysurvey.com, surveyhead.com, valuedopinion.com, globaltestmarket.com and the rate these sites offer may vary from $2 to $5 per survey. So you might make $10- $40 per month doing couple of surveys per week

11. Virtual office assistant: This is quite a popular tend making waves. You can offer administrative or technical help to owners of small scale businesses from home by becoming a VA. It generally requires VA to complete mundane office work like record keeping and administrative work.

12. Make and sell apps: This is a very lucrative option. I have more than dozen apps on my cellphone and I am sure you do too. So why not try designing you own app and pitch your idea to smartphone companies. You can get several tutorials online. Just find an idea that will sell.

13. Publish you book on kindle: This is really cool feature by Amazon which enables anyone to publish a story on kindle and earn royalties between 35% -75%. 14. E-tutoring: This is another great way to earn little income on the side. There are a lot of students which require little help with grades to win in competition. There are sites like 2tion.net, tutor.com, tutorvista.com which allow you to create your profile as a tutor for free. All you need to do is dedicate few hours every day to help a student.

15. Online jury duty: I found this a little amusing though I am not really sure how many people have found this helpful. There are e-jury sites which help lawyers to test their trial arguments in front of an e-jury. They claim to pay $20- $50 to every e-jury member. The sites which came across during my search where- onlineverdict.com and trialpractice.com. I am unsure about the authenticity of these sites.

16. Online focus groups: This is another very cool way to earn money. All you nee to do is register with online focus group like 2020reseach.com and get paid for participating in a group survey. You can get paid anywhere between $50-$150 per Focus group discussion. But there is a catch, you might not get called for any group discussion because focus group moderators are mostly interested in a particular consumer profile for there survey.

17. Make money reading mails: I am not a major fan of this. You end up getting too much spam in your inbox but, if you are okay with it check checkoutinboxdollar.com to get started.

18. Search internet: swagbuck.com offers swag buck points every time you use their search engine. And then you can use these swag buck points to shop online!! Isn’t it great?

19. Online customer service: this is another great way to earn some money sitting at home. You need to put in some 20-40 hours on weekly basis answering call or chat with customers as representatives of a company. Many companies or website administrators outsource customer care to a second party which in turn hires people from sites like live ops.com, talk2reps.com, alpine access.com, working solution.com. Compensation may depend from site to site but you can earn anywhere between $9 -$15 per hour.

20. SEO reviewing : To be honest I am little fuzzy about the skills required here but, people tell me anyone can do it so I believe them. As an SEO reviewer you can work for company called Leapforce and help them in search engine optimization by identifying most popular keywords used for searches keeping user intent in mind. Beware – get a good antivirus and malware before you embark on the journey.

21. Picking domain names: This one sounds fun!! So all you have to do is suggest some domain names and get $25 for every name picked. Awesome!!

37250_MONEY_MAGNET

A little note for you to remember- Making money online is a very time consuming and slow process.Don’t expect results overnight. This is just a small means to supplement your day job income. With perseverance and dedication you will be able to make this mainstream.

All the best to you!!

Samsung is on Santa’s naughty list this season

I simply love the Samsung Galaxy SIII TV advertising this season. They have not only managed to tickle the funny bone but also give viewers a bolt of shock. Whether it was Santa falling down  staircase while making his grand entrance in front of an excited audience  or Mrs Clause making an insinuation  about a naughty home made video, I love them both. Both the videos have freshness in them and make you say “Oh jeez!!”

Taking a high road

Samsung has completely changed its approach in marketing Galaxy SIII for the holidays. Earlier commercials were iPhone-centric with focus on ‘Why Samsung S3 is cooler than iPhone?’ or ‘Why S3 is a smarter choice than iPhone?’ Samsung has outgrown its competitive advertising strategy and has now completely focused making Santa miserable this holiday season.

Samsung Galaxy SIII advert built on offensive strategy against iPhone

Why is this new strategy going to work?

Videos comparing features of iPhone and S3 have the highest viewership on YouTube  so why should Samsung spend resources on creating an advertisement which will provide viewers redundant information which can be found on numerous sites, videos, magazines and in reviews by tech pundits. Almost everyone now has a well researched opinion about both the gadgets and most of us are getting bored of the wars waging between the two giants.  Samsung’s holiday advertising  brings in respite to this endless comparison game. Samsung has taken a high ground and put an end to bantering Apple. I guess that’s what the holiday spirit is all about!

Why are Samsung’s new holiday commercials worth the fuss?

  • They are no longer about iPhone, iMaps  or iPads but about, Samsung galaxy SIII
  • We are talking about Christmas, holidays and Santa!!
  • The advertisements reflect human vices with a funny perspective.
  • High recall factor
  • They have an element of shock and surprise.

Most memorable quality in the commercials 

Santa’s fail is an excellent satire on men dressed up as Santa for Christmas, people getting drunk, all things that can go wrong even on most well planned evenings, people who love to laugh at others and most importantly people who share their whole life on social media.

Santa’s work trip is simply awesome. It hints about a home made naughty video by Mrs. Clause for Santa’s work trip not to be seen on the sledge.  It raises your eyebrows but warms your heart thinking about the “lovely old still in love naughty couple”.

Verdict- Awesome!! Loved the fresh ideas…Samsung has definitely earned a spot on Santa’s “naughty” list this season.